March 8, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. West Side Story never getting old.
2. UCB on Adam Carolla.
3. Larry Miller as a comedian as opposed to an actor.
4. Catching up on old shows.
5. Siobhan on American Idol.
6. The long battery life on my macbook.
7. Eric Ripert for being a Buddhist.
8. Anita’s laugh.
9. Klosterman vs Simmons.
10. Finishing my daily tasks by 1:30.
11. Turn and Burn.
12. Twitter not being as nearly time consuming as Facebook.
13. Kathryn Bigelow’s comeuppance.
14. Jamie Oliver’s new show.
15. Discovering yet another new BBQ place in town.
16. A busy upcoming week completely unrelated to work.
17. Jessica giving me a ride to work.
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. All new No Reservations.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore.
21. Alex Ross coming out with a new book.
22. Keeping up with the writing pace that I set for myself.
23. Planning ahead financially.
24. Warmer weather.
25. Multitasking during my down time.
26. $2 margaritas at El Toro.
27. Chicken bones for chicken stock.
28. Being decisive.
29. Getting back on track in keeping up with this busy year.
30. Being able to check at least one item off my to do list on each day of this week.
31. A new set of restaurants to check out in town.
32. Alcohol being a great cure for writer’s block.
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. The possibility of the unknown affecting my life in the near future.
35. DVR
36. The self imposed deadline I gave myself for my book.
37. March being a slow month for Boston sports – Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to get anything done.
38. Learning new things about old friends.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. My new cast iron set.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. The great folks at Cook’s Illustrated
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Going Four days without Facebook to distract me.
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being.
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long.
51. The Les Halles Cookbook
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. The seasons and all the lessons nature can teach us through them.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. The pajamas that Jessica got me.
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Nah, not gonna tell you this one.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. The new colleague I’ll be working with at work.
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – Easy
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Suits that hide my potbelly.
79. Bill Simmons despite all the flak he’s been getting.
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. Enjoying reading for pleasure again.
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. Everything I have yet to learn
88. My passion for music slowly returning
89. Our Simmons Beautyrest
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Space heaters
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my twenty first post

Object of my metta practice - none

Reflection of the Day – For some reason, I felt quite a bit of anxiety tonight even though I had a fairly easy day. I had trouble getting going with the revisions I needed to write so I went across the street for ½ price margaritas. It did the trick. I figured out most of my introduction – that’s been eluding me for quite some time. I didn’t get to meditate though. I’ll start again tomorrow.

March 7, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. My productive day even though I had slept in.
2. A day off in I don’t know how long.
3. Another crazy week about to end.
4. Catching up on old shows.
5. Siobhan on American Idol.
6. The long battery life on my macbook.
7. Leftovers from Mark Morris.
8. Not having to leave the house.
9. San Pellegrino.
10. Free food.
11. Pork fat.
12. Twitter not being as nearly time consuming as Facebook.
13. Oscar night.
14. Jamie Oliver’s new show.
15. Discovering yet another new BBQ place in town.
16. A busy upcoming week completely unrelated to work.
17. Tina Fey!
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. All new No Reservations.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore.
21. Alex Ross coming out with a new book.
22. Keeping up with the writing pace that I set for myself.
23. Planning ahead financially.
24. Warmer weather.
25. Multitasking during my down time.
26. My newly greased bike chain.
27. Chicken bones for chicken stock.
28. MS Office 2008 finally crashing on me for the first time – nothing was lost
29. Getting back on track in keeping up with this busy year.
30. Being able to check at least one item off my to do list on each day of this week.
31. A new set of restaurants to check out in town.
32. Neal Patrick Harris.
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. The possibility of the unknown affecting my life in the near future.
35. DVR
36. The self imposed deadline I gave myself for my book.
37. March being a slow month for Boston sports – Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to get anything done.
38. Learning new things about old friends.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. How quickly this week went.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. The great folks at Cook’s Illustrated
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Going two days without Facebook to distract me.
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being.
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long.
51. The Les Halles Cookbook
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. The seasons and all the lessons nature can teach us through them.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. The pajamas that Jessica got me.
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Being forced to go back to my high school prom with no idea who my date is going to be.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. The new colleague I’ll be working with at work.
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – This is It
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Suits that hide my potbelly.
79. Bill Simmons
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. Enjoying to read for pleasure again.
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. Everything I have yet to learn
88. My passion for music slowly returning
89. Our Simmons Beautyrest
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Space heaters
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my twentieth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – On my first day off in a while, I gave myself a long list of things to get done. I’m a little annoyed that I didn’t get through the entire list no matter how unrealistic it was. No matter, I got stuff done and took it easy today. On my second day of doing the IMS meditation course, I’m starting to realize the sheer number of bad habits I’ve picked up. Physical – posture, tension. Mental – too easily falling into a spiral of negative thoughts. Emotional – Overreacting to needless negative thoughts. I’ve come up with a general plan for getting through the rest of the month. Hopefully, it’ll be as successful on a weekday as it was for a weekend.

March 6, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. My productive day even though I had slept in.
2. The great Mark Morris Dance Group performances at Krannert.
3. Another crazy week about to end.
4. My very competent right hand man for tonight.
5. Siobhan on American Idol.
6. The long battery life on my macbook.
7. Jimmy John’s.
8. Potato chips with only three listed ingredients.
9. Getting enough fruit servings for once.
10. Free food.
11. Pork fat.
12. Vivanno.
13. Patton Oswalt.
14. Jamie Oliver’s new show.
15. Discovering yet another new BBQ place in town.
16. A busy upcoming week completely unrelated to work.
17. Building momentum in getting things done on the home front.
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. All new No Reservations.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore.
21. Alex Ross coming out with a new book.
22. Finishing nine more pages of writing.
23. An easy night at Krannert.
24. Warmer weather.
25. Multitasking during my down time.
26. My newly greased bike chain.
27. Jessica surprising me with dinner and Starbucks.
28. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
29. Getting back on track in keeping up with this busy year.
30. Being able to check at least one item off my to do list on each day of this week.
31. A new set of restaurants to check out in town.
32. A cheerful Mark Morris.
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. The possibility of the unknown affecting my life in the near future.
35. DVR
36. The self imposed deadline I gave myself for my book.
37. Vince Wilfork and Tully Banta Cain resigning with the Patriots.
38. Learning new things about old friends.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. How quickly this week went.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. The great folks at Cook’s Illustrated
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Going two days without Facebook to distract me.
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being.
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long.
51. The Les Halles Cookbook
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. The seasons and all the lessons nature can teach us through them.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. The pajamas that Jessica got me.
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Being forced to go back to my high school prom with no idea who my date is going to be.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. The new colleague I’ll be working with at work.
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – This is It
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Suits that hide my potbelly.
79. Bill Simmons
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. How quickly I’m able to get a haircut appointment.
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. Everything I have yet to learn
88. My passion for music slowly returning
89. Our Simmons Beautyrest
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Space heaters
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my nineteenth post

Object of my metta practice - none

Reflection of the Day – A couple of birthdays ago, Jessica bought me a self guided insight meditation course that’s been sitting in my Amazon wishlist for quite some time. Twelve years ago, I took part in a rigorous ten day vipassana (insight) meditation retreat. While the experience changed my life, I didn’t always agree with the way this technique was taught to me. At that time, a very active member of the Insight Meditation Society suggested that I should one day look into the way they teach this technique. We both knew that it would be too much of a culture shock coming from the retreat I was on.

Years later and after my practice had lapsed, I decided to give this method a try. I began reading the manual. A lot of the information I knew already. On one hand, I found this refreshing and comforting and on the other, I was growing impatient. My mind began racing – This book is geared toward a beginner. What about me? Alright, I know this shit already. When the fuck can I begin to sit? I really need to tell Jessica that I’m about to meditate so she won’t bother me. How is she going to react to this? How am I going to write about this in my blog.

I then came to a series of simple yet devastating realizations: I am SO not in the present. I think way too fucking much especially about stupid shit. I expend way too much energy on these silly thoughts. No wonder I’m having trouble getting shit done on a consistent basis. Wait, I think I stumbled upon the most compelling reasons for sustaining a strong and constant practice.

When I actually sat down in order to meditate, all my thoughts about me not being a beginner totally became irrelevant. My body would constantly tense up and every minute or so I would need to reposition myself. The guided meditation challenged the listener to see if they can maintain total concentration throughout an entire breath. I couldn’t at first. My mind would wander during the exhalation. I now know that I can just follow this course exactly as written and not worry about whether it’s been written for me.

March 5, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Despite one snafu on my part, a relatively easy day at work.
2. Two Amazon Prime orders arriving in one day.
3. The week almost being over.
4. Having a small stage management army at my disposal tonight.
5. Siobhan on American Idol.
6. The long battery life on my macbook.
7. How awesome our slow cooker is.
8. Potato chips with only three listed ingredients.
9. Cecil Taylor.
10. Free food.
11. Pork fat.
12. Greg Fitzsimmons.
13. Patton Oswalt.
14. Bill Simmons.
15. Discovering yet another new BBQ place in town.
16. How Nilay always underestimates my wine knowledge so he always finds himself impressed with me.
17. Building momentum in getting things done on the home front.
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. All new No Reservations.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore.
21. Alex Ross coming out with a new book.
22. Finishing seven pages of writing.
23. Being able to hold down the fort while my boss has been gone.
24. Warmer weather.
25. Driving with the windows down for the first time this year.
26. My newly greased bike chain.
27. Making it through a work night without a break for dinner.
28. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
29. My earbuds at work.
30. Being able to check at least one item off my to do list on each day of this week.
31. A new set of restaurants to check out in town.
32. A cheerful Mark Morris.
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. The possibility of the unknown affecting my life in the near future.
35. DVR
36. The self imposed deadline I gave myself for my book.
37. Vince Wilfork and Tully Banta Cain resigning with the Patriots.
38. Learning new things about old friends.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. How quickly this week went.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. The great folks at Cook’s Illustrated
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Going a day without Facebook to distract me.
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being.
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long.
51. The Les Halles Cookbook
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. The seasons and all the lessons nature can teach us through them.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. Active wear
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Having dinner at Everest and every person I would think of immediately showing up afterwards.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. The new colleague I’ll be working with at work.
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – This is It
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Suits that hide my potbelly.
79. Bill Simmons
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. Everything I have yet to learn
88. My passion for music slowly returning
89. Our Simmons Beautyrest
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Space heaters
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my eighteenth post

Object of my metta practice - none

Reflection of the Day – I worked a seventeen hour day. Didn’t have much time or energy for contemplation. Currently, I’m trying to rewrite the introduction to my book which has been intimidating me for almost a year. I think I’ve made some encouraging progress last night. I’ve been wanting to complement my metta practice with another form of meditation and I will try to get that going on Saturday.

March 4, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Lactaid.
2. How great Off the Wall sounds on my sound system.
3. Daves of Thunder.
4. My new cast iron set coming a day early.
5. Siobhan on American Idol.
6. The long battery life on my macbook.
7. Using our slow cooker for the first time.
8. Microwavable Indian food.
9. Cecil Taylor.
10. Free food.
11. Pork fat.
12. Greg Fitzsimmons.
13. Patton Oswalt.
14. Bill Simmons.
15. Discovering yet another new BBQ place in town.
16. A warm roaring fire.
17. A manageable week schedule.
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. All new No Reservations.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore.
21. Alex Ross coming out with a new book.
22. Starting to write again.
23. Being able to hold down the fort while my boss has been gone.
24. A clean apartment mostly thanks to Jessica.
25. Warmer weather.
26. My newly greased bike chain.
27. The cafeteria at work.
28. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
29. My earbuds at work.
30. Being able to check at least one item off my to do list on each day of this week.
31. A new set of restaurants to check out in town.
32. Old clips of Jimmy Kimmel Live on Youtube.
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. The possibility of the unknown affecting my life in the near future.
35. DVR
36. The self imposed deadline I gave myself for my book.
37. Year round football coverage, especially in this exciting offseason.
38. Learning new things about old friends.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. How quickly this week went.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. The great folks at Cook’s Illustrated
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
51. The Les Halles Cookbook
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. Old friends.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. Active wear
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Suddenly waking up in Infomercial Hell.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. The new colleague I’ll be working with at work.
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – This is It
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Suits that hide my potbelly.
79. Bill Simmons
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. Everything I have yet to learn
88. My passion for music slowly returning
89. Our Simmons Beautyrest
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Space heaters
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my seventeenth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – Jessica and I have been crazy busy this year. So much so that we have realized that we have put good chunks of our lives on hold for our careers. Our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being have suffered due to this. We haven’t been able to grow much individually and as a couple. We are at a point that we can no longer ignore these issues. No matter how busy we are, we must take care of ourselves. For me, this blog has been helpful when I remember to do it. There are days when I lead such a disjointed and disconnected day that at the end of the day, I just end up staring at my computer screen with nothing to write. Mindfulness is a requisite to opening oneself up to appreciating the world. I need to pay attention to that more.

March 1, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. My stereo finally being fixed.
2. My stereo having a treble know again.
3. A true eight hour work day.
4. My chiropractor.
5. Turn and Burn.
6. The long battery life on my macbook.
7. Everyone at corporate who took the time to show me the ropes last week.
8. Taco Loco tacos.
9. John Coltrane and Lee Morgan.
10. Mexican Coke with cane sugar.
11. The bout of inspiration regarding my website.
12. Greg Fitzsimmons.
13. Patton Oswalt.
14. Bill Simmons.
15. Discovering yet another new BBQ place in town.
16. Balvenie Double Wood.
17. A manageable week schedule.
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. All new No Reservations.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore.
21. Alex Ross coming out with a new book.
22. This month’s Esquire.
23. One less trip he’ll have to go on this year.
24. A clean apartment mostly thanks to Jessica.
25. Warmer weather.
26. The ice slowly melting away.
27. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
28. Randomly hearing from old acquaintances.
29. My earbuds at work.
30. Hearing that young Russian bad ass of a pianist last week.
31. A new set of restaurants to check out in town.
32. Things chugging along.
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. The possibility of the unknown affecting my life in the near future.
35. DVR
36. The filing that will get done tomorrow night - hopefully.
37. Planning ahead - somewhat.
38. Seeing old friends.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. How quickly we forgot about our week from hell.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
51. The Les Halles Cookbook
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. Old friends.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. Active wear
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Suddenly waking up in Infomercial Hell.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. The new colleague I’ll be working with at work.
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – Blue Trane
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Suits that hide my potbelly.
79. Bill Simmons
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. Everything I have yet to learn
88. My passion for music slowly returning
89. Our Simmons Beautyrest
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Free food
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my sixteenth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – None.

February 28, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Remembering to bring at least one computer on his business trip.
2. Finding a small amount of kona extra fancy beans in the freezer.
3. How far beyond the call of duty our corrugate sales rep goes for us.
4. This crazy and eventful week.
5. My orthotics finally fitting in my favorite shoes.
6. The long battery life on my macbook.
7. The clarity I got from an impromptu fast.
8. Sleeping in.
9. The Miles and Coltrane box set.
10. This red wine from Minervois.
11. Getting a lot done this weekend.
12. An eventful and promising business trip.
13. Bone marrow and parsley.
14. Moving forward with the new website.
15. The Adam Carolla Project.
16. Discovering a new pizza place in town.
17. Being in the mood for a summery beer.
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. Bertoli.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
21. What’s looking like an exciting work week.
22. This month’s Esquire.
23. One less trip he’ll have to go on this year.
24. My stereo amplifier finally being fixed.
25. Warmer weather.
26. The ice slowly melting away.
27. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
28. Water and everything it does.
29. My earbuds at work.
30. A relaxing night with Jessica.
31. Not being tempted to go back to Bacaro so soon.
32. Things chugging along
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. The possibility of the unknown affecting my life in the near future.
35. DVR
36. The filing that will get done tomorrow night - hopefully.
37. Planning ahead - somewhat.
38. Seeing old friends.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. How quickly we forgot about our tough week at work.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
51. Adam Carolla podcast
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. Old friends.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. Active wear
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Suddenly waking up in Infomercial Hell.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. Anthony Bourdain
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – Blue Trane
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Suits that hide my potbelly.
79. Bill Simmons
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. Everything I have yet to learn
88. My passion for music slowly returning
89. Our Simmons Beautyrest
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Free floss from the dentist
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my fifteenth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – I’m still trying to figure out a way for this new devotional routine to be such an integral part of my life that I maintain it even on busy days. There have been some new possibilities in my life that seem to be just over the horizon. Some days this excites me, some days it freaks me out. Just gotta push forward.

February 22, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. My chiropractor.
2. A usable office.
3. How far beyond the call of duty our corrugate sales rep goes for us.
4. This crazy and eventful week.
5. The great slow cooker I got at Kohl’s.
6. The pajamas Jessica’s mom got me for Christmas.
7. A web browser that doesn’t crash.
8. Sleeping in.
9. Dave Navarro’s insightful interview on Greg Fitzsimmons Podcast.
10. Leftovers from Bacaro’s new bar menu.
11. A great tasting and effective protein shake.
12. Finalizing meal plans for my trip.
13. Leaving the TV off yet another day.
14. Deciding on a name for a new website.
15. The youtube clips of comedians dealing with hecklers.
16. Catching up on my finances.
17. A very productive day at work.
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. Jessica bringing home Panera.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
21. All the food related twitter users that I found.
22. This month’s Esquire
23. The tilt function on my computer chair.
24. My stereo amplifier finally being fixed
25. Ikea office furniture
26. The ice slowly melting away.
27. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
28. Space heaters.
29. My earbuds at work.
30. Candles and how much they warm up our place.
31. Not being tempted to go out for drinks again
32. Things chugging along
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. Reliving the USA-Canada game through tweets and status updates.
35. DVR
36. The filing that will someday get done.
37. Planning ahead - somewhat.
38. A rather free weekend that I can use to get shit done.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. How quickly we forgot about our tough week at work.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
51. Adam Carolla podcast
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. Old friends.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. Active wear
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Two words - Time Travel.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. Anthony Bourdain
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – Phil Collins
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
79. Bill Simmons
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. The fact that my seasonal eczema is finally subsiding
88. Everything I have yet to learn
89. My passion for music slowly returning
90. Our Simmons Beautyrest
91. My cautious optimism
92. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
93. Jessica's hourglass figure
94. Memories, good and bad
95. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
96. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
97. Sensodyne
98. Free floss from the dentist
99. My orthotics
100. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
101. Having hope
102. Completing my fourteenth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – none.

February 21, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Having a clean apartment.
2. A usable office.
3. Our cashier at Kohl’s who honored our 30% coupon three days after it expired.
4. Slowly pulling my life together.
5. The great slow cooker I got at Kohl’s.
6. The pajamas Jessica’s mom got me for Christmas.
7. A web browser that doesn’t crash.
8. Sleeping in.
9. Organic mac and cheese.
10. Bacaro’s new bar menu – awesome
11. Bacaro’s house cured reuben with Wagyu beef
12. A $50 Barbaresco to wash down the reuben.
13. Leaving the TV off yet another day.
14. Truffle fries.
15. Bacaro’s kitchen bringing us some wonderful aioli for the truffle fries.
16. Catching up on my finances.
17. My relatively newfound appreciation of pork.
18. Not worrying about running out of firewood
19. The kind and funny gentleman at Goodwill.
20. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
21. Roger Ebert for his Martin Scorsese book
22. This month’s Esquire
23. Direct Deposit
24. My stereo amplifier finally being fixed
25. Ikea office furniture
26. Patton Oswalt’s sketch on Stella Dora breakfast treats.
27. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
28. Not doing any work today.
29. The surprisingly delicious and perfect Stromboli from Sbarro.
30. Amazon where I just found the obscure cooking tools that I’ve been searching for for many years now..
31. Finally getting the new FB to work the way I want it to
32. Things chugging along
33. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
34. Finalizing plans for my trip up to Chicago next week.
35. DVR
36. Balvenie Double Wood.
37. Planning ahead - somewhat.
38. A rather free weekend that I can use to get shit done.
39. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
40. How quickly we forgot about our tough week at work.
41. Being productive.
42. Job security
43. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
44. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
45. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
46. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
47. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
48. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
49. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
50. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
51. Adam Carolla podcast
52. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
53. Old friends.
54. Breathing
55. Any form of nuanced thinking
56. Active wear
57. Keeping my cynicism in check
58. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
59. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Two words - Time Travel.
60. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
61. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
62. Foreign languages
63. Life forcing me to multitask
64. Anthony Bourdain
65. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
66. Tiki
67. My smart and talented friends old and new
68. My increasingly reliable intuition
69. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
70. The music playing in my head – NWA
71. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
72. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
73. This computer stand from Ikea
74. Jessica's cute faces
75. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
76. How good of a listener Jessica can be
77. Google Wave
78. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
79. Bill Simmons
80. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
81. My new Ted Baker glasses
82. The moktak that my mom sent me
83. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
84. How good cracking various joints feel
85. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
86. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
87. The fact that my seasonal eczema is finally subsiding
88. Everything I have yet to learn
89. My passion for music slowly returning
90. Our Simmons Beautyrest
91. My cautious optimism
92. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
93. Jessica's hourglass figure
94. Memories, good and bad
95. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
96. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
97. Sensodyne
98. Free floss from the dentist
99. My orthotics
100. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
101. Having hope
102. Completing my thirteenth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – none.

February 20, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Having a clean apartment.
2. How much bigger the apartment looks now that it’s clean.
3. A usable office.
4. Three laptops.
5. Slowly pulling my life together.
6. Finding my SD card reader.
7. The pajamas Jessica’s mom got me for Christmas.
8. A web browser that doesn’t crash.
9. Sleeping in.
10. Having leftovers.
11. Bacaro’s new bar menu – can’t wait
12. A roaring fire.
13. The Food Network show, The Best Thing I Ever Ate.
14. Catching up on my finances.
15. Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles Cookbook
16. Not worrying about running out of firewood
17. Finding about a new intriguing bar in KC a month before we head over there.
18. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
19. Roger Ebert for his Martin Scorsese book
20. This month’s Esquire
21. Direct Deposit
22. My stereo amplifier finally being fixed
23. Ikea office furniture
24. Eric Ripert’s diss of Rocco Dispirito
25. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
26. Taking charge at work.
27. Not hearing the phone calls from work earlier today.
28. The ability to renew books online.
29. Finally getting the new FB to work the way I want it to
30. Things chugging along
31. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
32. Finalizing plans for my trip up to Chicago next week.
33. DVR
34. Balvenie Double Wood.
35. Adam Carolla Carcast videos on motorator.com.
36. A rather free weekend that I can use to get shit done.
37. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
38. How quickly we forgot about our tough week at work.
39. Staying in all day and being productive.
40. Job security
41. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
42. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
43. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
44. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
45. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
46. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
47. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
48. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
49. Adam Carolla podcast
50. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
51. Good natured schadenfreud induced laughter at the expense of an old friend.
52. Breathing
53. Any form of nuanced thinking
54. Active wear
55. Keeping my cynicism in check
56. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
57. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Two words - Time Travel.
58. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
59. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
60. Foreign languages
61. Life forcing me to multitask
62. Anthony Bourdain
63. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
64. Tiki
65. My smart and talented friends old and new
66. My increasingly reliable intuition
67. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
68. The music playing in my head – 2 foot yard
69. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
70. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
71. This computer stand from Ikea
72. Jessica's cute faces
73. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
74. How good of a listener Jessica can be
75. Google Wave
76. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
77. Bill Simmons
78. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
79. My new Ted Baker glasses
80. The moktak that my mom sent me
81. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
82. How good cracking various joints feel
83. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
84. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
85. The fact that my seasonal eczema is finally subsiding
86. Everything I have yet to learn
87. My passion for music slowly returning
88. Our Simmons Beautyrest
89. My cautious optimism
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Free floss from the dentist
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my twelfth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – Didn’t nearly get as much done as I had planned. I still got a lot done and am preparing myself for a crazy week. I'm starting to wonder whether I should move on to a new object of my metta meditation. I don't quite know yet. I'm going to focus my attention on where I stand with how happy I am these days, etc. This is a sign I guess that I need to start being more mindful. My meditation practice may need to be expanded somewhat.

February 19, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Finding the source of an issue that has been plaguing me at work the whole week.
2. The joy in finding fresh fish in Champaign – all too rare.
3. The amazingly fresh red snapper I stumbled upon.
4. The mango cilantro snapper recipe I found on Epicurious.
5. The Calphalon skillet we used to cook the fish.
6. Greg Fitzsimmons.
7. Water. I must have drank 3 gallons today!
8. The protein shake not giving me any, um, problems today.
9. Having lost ten pounds since Christmas
10. How good I feel after stretching.
11. Bacaro’s new bar menu – can’t wait
12. Tedious prep work in the kitchen allowing me to unwind yet be productive at the same time.
13. The Food Network show, The Best Thing I Ever Ate.
14. Eric Ripert’s black bass entrée featured on the above show giving me the inspiration to change the recipe mentioned in #4.
15. Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles Cookbook
16. Not worrying about running out of firewood
17. All three of my magazines arriving on the same day
18. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
19. Roger Ebert for his Martin Scorsese book
20. The Roger Ebert feature in Esquire
21. Direct Deposit
22. My stereo amplifier finally being fixed
23. Turn and Burn!
24. Eric Ripert’s diss of Rocco Dispirito
25. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
26. Taking charge at work.
27. Earning the respect of my peers.
28. Seeing a long overdue change being made at my part time job.
29. Finally getting the new FB to work the way I want it to
30. Things chugging along
31. Slowly figuring out what to give a shit about.
32. Finalizing plans for my trip up to Chicago next week.
33. DVR
34. Balvenie Double Wood.
35. Peter King
36. A rather free weekend that I can use to get shit done.
37. My PC still working well enough to use it for MS Money.
38. How quickly we forgot about our tough week at work.
39. A major stumbling block being cleared at work.
40. Job security
41. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
42. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
43. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
44. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
45. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
46. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
47. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
48. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
49. Adam Carolla podcast
50. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
51. Good natured schadenfreud induced laughter at the expense of an old friend.
52. Breathing
53. Any form of nuanced thinking
54. Active wear
55. Keeping my cynicism in check
56. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
57. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – A St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Baltimore that looked more like Mardi Gras.
58. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
59. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
60. Foreign languages
61. Life forcing me to multitask
62. Anthony Bourdain
63. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
64. Tiki
65. My smart and talented friends old and new
66. My increasingly reliable intuition
67. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
68. The music playing in my head – 2 foot yard
69. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
70. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
71. This computer stand from Ikea
72. Jessica's cute faces
73. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
74. How good of a listener Jessica can be
75. Google Wave
76. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
77. Bill Simmons
78. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
79. My new Ted Baker glasses
80. The moktak that my mom sent me
81. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
82. How good cracking various joints feel
83. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
84. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
85. The fact that my seasonal eczema is finally subsiding
86. Everything I have yet to learn
87. My passion for music slowly returning
88. Our Simmons Beautyrest
89. My cautious optimism
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Free floss from the dentist
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my eleventh post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – none.

February 18, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Everyone who took the time to post kind thoughts about the blog on Facebook. Here’s a shoutout to each of you.
2. Seth Isenberg – I love the fact that we share an appreciation of both Akira Kurosawa and Adam Carolla.
3. Ilan Cohen – Actually, I’m grateful for the entire Cohen clan. All amazing people.
4. The greater perspective I have on life since graduating college.
5. Dana Gould’s Batman impersonation.
6. Greg Fitzsimmons.
7. Marvin Gaye’s rendition of the “Star Spangled Banner” at a 1979 Holmes match.
8. Marvin Gaye’s completely different rendition of the “Star Spangled Banner” at the 1983 NBA All Star game,
9. Having lost ten pounds since Christmas
10. How good I feel after stretching.
11. Bacaro’s new bar menu – can’t wait
12. Ralph Garman
13. Jessica giving me a ride to work
14. Good, no great coffee.
15. Randy Cross’s awkward metaphors
16. Not worrying about running out of firewood
17. All three of my magazines arriving on the same day
18. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
19. Roger Ebert for his Martin Scorsese book
20. The Roger Ebert feature in Esquire
21. How cute Jessica looks in her purple winter jacket
22. My stereo amplifier finally being fixed
23. Turn and Burn!
24. Eric Ripert’s diss of Rocco Dispirito
25. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
26. Taking charge at work.
27. Earning the respect of my peers.
28. Seeing a long overdue change being made at my part time job.
29. Finally getting the new FB to work the way I want it to
30. Things chugging along
31. Standing up for myself at work.
32. Finalizing plans for my trip up to Chicago next week.
33. DVR
34. Our trip to Kansas City shaping up to be a rather laid back one.
35. Peter King
36. A rather free weekend that I can use to get shit done.
37. Krusovice
38. Half priced scotch night.
39. The few things that came through for me at work today.
40. Job security
41. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
42. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
43. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
44. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
45. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
46. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
47. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
48. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
49. Adam Carolla podcast
50. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
51. Michael Sheppard’s sensitive performances he coaxed out of what must be the worst Bosendorfer in the world
52. Breathing
53. Any form of nuanced thinking
54. Active wear
55. Keeping my cynicism in check
56. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
57. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – My next high school reunion as a game show
58. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
59. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
60. Foreign languages
61. Life forcing me to multitask
62. Anthony Bourdain
63. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
64. Tiki
65. My smart and talented friends old and new
66. My increasingly reliable intuition
67. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
68. The music playing in my head – Stand Up
69. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
70. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
71. This computer stand from Ikea
72. Jessica's cute faces
73. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
74. How good of a listener Jessica can be
75. Google Wave
76. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
77. Bill Simmons
78. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
79. My new Ted Baker glasses
80. The moktak that my mom sent me
81. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
82. How good cracking various joints feel
83. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
84. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
85. The fact that my seasonal eczema is finally subsiding
86. Everything I have yet to learn
87. My passion for music slowly returning
88. Our Simmons Beautyrest
89. My cautious optimism
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Free floss from the dentist
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my tenth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – With work being crazy and the traveling that I had to do this week, I just now got to reflecting on my 100 items. What a tough week, especially for something like this site! Let’s see how the weekend goes.

February 13, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Everyone who took the time to post kind thoughts about the blog on Facebook. Here’s a shoutout to each of you.
2. Reconnecting with Tina, an old high school/junior high acquaintance. I’m not surprised at all that she grew up to be the wonderful woman, mother and wife that she always had the potential of being.
3. Molly always making me feel like I’m the most important person in the room every time I talk to her.
4. Paul, a relatively new friend and fellow advocate of the practice and celebration of gastronomic excellence in Central Illinois. His Old World sensibilities are a welcome breath of fresh air here in C-U.
5. Marina and her wonderful husband. I know that we’re going to have a great time the next time we see each other.
6. Jen – To this day, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with her distinct combination of intelligence and complete lack of pretense.
7. Resi absolutely understanding the meaning behind this blog and being able to articulate it much better than I would have.
8. Amanda and her family. We miss you guys tremendously.
9. Having lost ten pounds since Christmas
10. The Porter interception not getting old yet
11. Bacaro’s new bar menu – can’t wait
12. Balvenie Doublewood
13. The great walk I went on with Jessica
14. The surprising fact that a loved one tackling you into a snow bank is even more fun than romantic comedies make them out to be.
15. The perfectly marinated pork chops we got from Old Time Meat and Deli. They just melted in your mouth.
16. Not worrying about running out of firewood
17. A warm fire going all day
18. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
19. Roger Ebert for his Martin Scorsese book
20. Bob McGinn’s Super Bowl book
21. How cute Jessica looks in her purple winter jacket
22. My stereo amplifier finally being fixed
23. Seeing Saints DC Gregg Williams evolve even at his age
24. Drinking on a weeknight
25. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
26. Making it through today without turning on the TV.
27. Not making a big fuss about our V Day plans and focusing on just having a good time with each other.
28. How appreciative Jessica’s employees were when I brought them brownies baked by her.
29. Finally getting the new FB to work the way I want it to
30. Things chugging along
31. Regrouping after a major setback at work
32. Having the full support of his department after the cause of #31 occurred.
33. DVR
34. Our trip to Kansas City shaping up to be a rather laid back one.
35. The Opening Ceremonies not being completely lame
36. The sheer amounts of unintentional comedy that the dancer/greeters during the Parade of Nations provide
37. Fat Tire
38. All the wonderful meals made by Oliver Philpott and I wish him well on his next endeavor.
39. The opportunity to satiate my sushi craving – not always an easy feat in the Midwest!
40. Job security
41. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
42. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
43. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
44. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
45. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
46. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
47. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
48. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
49. Adam Carolla podcast
50. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
51. Reconnecting with old friends
52. Breathing
53. Any form of nuanced thinking
54. Active wear
55. Keeping my cynicism in check
56. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
57. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams – Raptors, Mel Gibson, Kansas City
58. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
59. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
60. Foreign languages
61. Life forcing me to multitask
62. Anthony Bourdain
63. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
64. Tiki
65. My smart and talented friends old and new
66. My increasingly reliable intuition
67. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
68. The music playing in my head – Poker Face
69. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
70. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
71. This computer stand from Ikea
72. Jessica's cute faces
73. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
74. How good of a listener Jessica can be
75. Google Wave
76. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
77. Bill Simmons
78. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
79. My new Ted Baker glasses
80. The moktak that my mom sent me
81. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
82. How good cracking various joints feel
83. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
84. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
85. The fact that my seasonal eczema is finally subsiding
86. Everything I have yet to learn
87. My passion for music slowly returning
88. Our Simmons Beautyrest
89. My cautious optimism
90. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
91. Jessica's hourglass figure
92. Memories, good and bad
93. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
94. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
95. Sensodyne
96. Free floss from the dentist
97. My orthotics
98. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
99. Having hope
100. Completing my ninth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – An incident at work on Friday alluded to above pretty much threw a wrench in my entire day. It took every ounce of energy to maintain my composure and continue on with the rest of my day. I could only do this after addressing everything that I could that had to do with this incident. I was so angry and demoralized after this incident that I was shaking. After addressing what we could, I raced to finish the rest of what I had to do that day. It sure didn’t help that I hadn’t eaten anything all day. When I came home, I had some leftovers and fell right asleep due to my emotional exhaustion. When I woke up, Jessica and I agreed that I needed a night out.

Knowing that this is early in the rejuvenating of my spiritual practice, I’m not going to beat myself up for small transgressions here or there. Unlike other spiritual traditions, guilt is not an integral or even an integrated aspect of my tradition. Yet it’s been a big part of my life. Both my Korean and my New England upbringing have made it so. It can be debilitating. Other attempts at restarting a regular meditation practice have been severely hindered by guilt. I refuse to let it be a part of my spiritual practice as much as possible. When I miss a day on a rough day like this, I’m not going to beat myself up. Although mindfulness is a primary goal for an active meditator, I’m ok with finding a way to disengage with my current emotional state.

A famous turn of the century Jewish philosopher named Franz Rosenzweig started to become more religious as his life went on. He strongly believed in redemption both for himself and for his people. On his journey in becoming a more spiritually committed Jew, people would ask him about particular traditions and whether he followed them or not. If the answer was no, he would always answer by saying, “Not yet.” This is the exact attitude I want to take in my spiritual growth. One day, I hope to be strong enough to able to find 100 things to be grateful for even on a shitty day. I want to have the strength to remain emotionally present throughout such hardship.

February 10, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Jessica giving me a ride to work even though I didn’t expect one
2. Having lost ten pounds since Christmas
3. The Porter interception not getting old yet
4. Discovering that I have more money than expected
5. Bacaro’s new bar menu – can’t wait
6. Balvenie Doublewood
7. Discovering the Greg Fitzsimmons podcast
8. All these podcasts that pick up the slack when I get tired of Sirius
9. Nissan not charging me for fixing a slight alignment issue
10. The great positive feedback we got from Corporate
11. Free steak at work today
12. The fantastic chicken from Texas Roadhouse of all places
13. Moore’s Family pork
14. Not worrying about running out of firewood
15. A warm fire going on a cold night
16. Paul Kahane
17. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
18. Roger Ebert for his Martin Scorsese book
19. Bob McGinn’s Super Bowl book
20. How cute Jessica looks in her purple winter jacket
21. Relearning that sometimes things go wrong and there’s no one to blame even myself
22. My stereo amplifier finally being fixed
23. Seeing Saints DC Gregg Williams evolve even at his age
24. Drinking on a weeknight
25. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
26. Watching The Fugitive for the first time since moving to the Midwest
27. How rewatchable The Fugitive is
28. Finally getting the new FB to work the way I want it to
29. Things chugging along
30. Consensus building at work
31. DVR
32. The cookie that Jessica left me
33. Sky Cake!
34. Jessica finally being home
35. Long Slavic names
36. Hoisin sauce
37. The sheer number of good beer available here
38. Job security
39. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
40. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
41. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
42. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
43. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
44. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
45. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
46. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
47. Adam Carolla podcast
48. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
49. Reconnecting with old friends
50. Breathing
51. Any form of nuanced thinking
52. Clean sweats to lounge around in
53. Keeping my cynicism in check
54. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
55. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams
56. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
57. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
58. Foreign languages
59. Life forcing me to multitask
60. Anthony Bourdain
61. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
62. Tiki
63. My smart and talented friends old and new
64. My increasingly reliable intuition
65. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
66. The music playing in my head – Mahler Third Symphony
67. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
68. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
69. This computer stand from Ikea
70. Jessica's cute faces
71. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
72. How good of a listener Jessica can be
73. Google Wave
74. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
75. Bill Simmons
76. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
77. My new Ted Baker glasses
78. The moktak that my mom sent me
79. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
80. How good cracking various joints feel
81. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
82. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
83. The fact that my seasonal eczema is finally subsiding
84. Everything I have yet to learn
85. My passion for music slowly returning
86. Our Simmons Beautyrest
87. My cautious optimism
88. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
89. Jessica's hourglass figure
90. Memories, good and bad
91. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
92. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
93. Sensodyne
94. Free floss from the dentist
95. My orthotics
96. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
97. Having hope
98. My Brandeis BPA free Nalgene bottle
99. A new day
100. Completing my eighth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – Nothing today

February 9, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Jessica giving me a ride to work in the snow
2. The unexpected Simmons post mortem podcast
3. How consistently great interviews with old pro wrestlers are
4. A post Super Bowl Disney commercial giving me the chills for the first time in a while
5. Bacaro’s new bar menu – can’t wait
6. The law of averages catching up with rookie head coach Jim Caldwell
7. Discovering the Greg Fitzsimmons podcast
8. Sirius Satellite Radio helping me get through the work day faster
9. All these podcasts that pick up the slack when I get tired of Sirius
10. How silly and amusing Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay was
11. Louis CK
12. How good the leftover pork sauce was over linguine
13. The snow not ruining my work day
14. 12 grain bread
15. Not worrying about running out of firewood
16. How fun it is keeping a fire going
17. His to do list at work being half as long at the end of the day
18. Not having to file FSA claims anymore
19. Roger Ebert for his Martin Scorsese book
20. Bob McGinn’s Super Bowl book
21. How cute Jessica looks in her purple winter jacket
22. Bill Murray’s transformation
23. His stereo amplifier finally being fixed
24. Seeing Saints DC Gregg Williams evolve even at his age
25. Hampton Inn commercials
26. MS Office 2008 not pissing me off yet
27. How photogenic Chicago is at night
28. Hollywood week
29. Noscript.net
30. The ability to read the New York Times on my phone
31. Clever reinterpretations of pop songs
32. DVR
33. How overrated anger is
34. My renewed love for chips and salsa
35. The guitarist on Idol using scordatura tuning
36. The sheer number of good beer available here
37. Job security
38. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
39. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
40. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
41. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
42. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
43. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
44. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
45. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
46. Adam Carolla podcast
47. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
48. Reconnecting with old friends
49. Breathing
50. Any form of nuanced thinking
51. Clean sweats to lounge around in
52. Keeping my cynicism in check
53. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
54. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams
55. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
56. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
57. Foreign languages
58. Life forcing me to multitask
59. Anthony Bourdain
60. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
61. Tiki
62. My smart and talented friends old and new
63. My increasingly reliable intuition
64. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
65. The music playing in my head – still the Who Dat chant
66. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
67. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
68. This computer stand from Ikea
69. Old Time Meat and Deli
70. Jessica's cute faces
71. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
72. How good of a listener Jessica can be
73. Google Wave
74. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
75. Bill Simmons
76. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
77. My new Ted Baker glasses
78. The moktak that my mom sent me
79. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
80. How good cracking various joints feel
81. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
82. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
83. The fact that my seasonal eczema is finally subsiding
84. Everything I have yet to learn
85. My passion for music slowly returning
86. Our Simmons Beautyrest
87. My cautious optimism
88. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
89. Jessica's hourglass figure
90. Memories, good and bad
91. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
92. My desire to seek out the positive in my life
93. Sensodyne
94. Free floss from the dentist
95. My orthotics
96. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
97. Having hope
98. My Brandeis BPA free Nalgene bottle
99. A new day
100. Completing my seventh post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – I have moved the recurring items to the bottom in order to make it easier to read. I now realize that the metta affirmations are not created equally. Eariler, I had placed the same expectation on each of them. If some of these wishes aren’t granted immediately, I should be patient. Not quite ready to move to a new object of my metta meditation.

February 8, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Job security
2. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
3. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
4. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
5. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
6. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
7. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
8. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
9. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
10. The sudden resurrection of the Peyton Manning Face!
11. Ralph Garman’s Arnold impersonation
12. Adam Carolla podcast
13. How delicious the palette de porc a la biere from the Les Halles cookbook came out
14. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
15. Reconnecting with old friends
16. Breathing
17. Any form of nuanced thinking
18. My health
19. Keeping my cynicism in check
20. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
21. Not being a betting man
22. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams
23. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
24. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
25. Foreign languages
26. A wonderfully productive meeting with Paul
27. Life forcing me to multitask
28. Adam Schein’s opening monologue
29. An even more hilarious than usual No Reservations
30. Belichick not drafting Rey Maualuga
31. Finding yet another podcast I can follow at work
32. Dana Gould
33. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
34. Tiki
35. How awesome the Super Bowl was
36. My smart and talented friends old and new
37. My increasingly reliable intuition
38. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
39. The music playing in my head – The Who Dat? Chant
40. Our roaring fireplace
41. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
42. The pork sauce poured over cous cous
43. Finally getting caught up by Super Bowl hype
44. This computer stand from Ikea
45. How fast my new computer is
46. Old Time Meat and Deli
47. The kitchen still smelling like the dinner I made last night
48. Jessica's cute faces
49. Corkscrew Wine Emporium
50. Brunshing the rust off of my fire tending skills
51. My Isotoner slippers
52. My new favorite fast food burger – jalapeno thickburger
53. Random Boston jokes on 30 Rock
54. Comedy Central’s power hour
55. How good of a listener Jessica can be
56. Google Wave
57. Some important upcoming meetings
58. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
59. Bill Simmons
60. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
61. My new Ted Baker glasses
62. The moktak that my mom sent me
63. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
64. The snow not being as nearly as bad as everyone thought
65. How good cracking various joints feel
66. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
67. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
68. The fact that my seasonal excema is finally subsiding
69. Everything I have yet to learn
70. My passion for music slowly returning
71. Not having to listen to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman last night
72. Fart jokes told by smart people
73. Finally settling on a new browser
74. Our Simmons Beautyrest
75. My cautious optimism
76. How my fingers smell after cooking
77. Allowing myself to not care so much when needed
78. My rejuvenated reading mojo
79. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
80. The Tanzanian Peaberry waiting for me at work
81. How easy it is to find good beer
82. The new cafeteria service at work
83. The cute names Jessica used for the alarms on my Palm Treo
84. Our various French Presses
85. Jessica's hourglass figure
86. Memories, good and bad
87. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
88. The several unintended benefits of using my earbuds at work
89. My desire to seek out the positve in my life
90. Sensodyne
91. Free floss from the dentist
92. Orthotics
93. Finally having a clean office
94. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
95. Having hope
96. The pajamas that Jessica bought me
97. My Brandeis BPA free Nalgene bottle
98. Spooning
99. A great ride to work
100. Completing my sixth post

Object of my metta practice – myself

Reflection of the Day – Took the weekend off. Nothing new other than what’s listed above.

February 5, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Job security
2. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
3. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
4. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
5. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
6. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
7. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
8. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
9. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
10. Friday!
11. Mike Lombardi
12. Adam Carolla podcast
13. Day old braised pork chops
14. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
15. Reconnecting with old friends
16. Breathing
17. Any form of nuanced thinking
18. My health
19. Keeping my cynicism in check
20. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
21. Not being a betting man
22. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams
23. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
24. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
25. Foreign languages
26. A wonderfully productive meeting with Paul
27. Life forcing me to multitask
28. Jeff Ross’ unique brand of humor
29. Anthony Bourdain
30. A more festive than usual Spider and Hench Podcast
31. The touching Bald Bryan fund raiser
32. Dana Gould
33. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
34. Tiki
35. Larry Miller’s surprisingly good stand up act
36. My smart and talented friends old and new
37. My increasingly reliable intuition
38. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
39. The music playing in my head – Miles Davis “Solar”
40. Comedy Central Roasts
41. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
42. Old Time Meat and Deli’s pulled pork
43. Not getting caught up by Super Bowl hype
44. This computer stand from Ikea
45. Our cable and internet being back on
46. Old Time Meat and Deli
47. The kitchen still smelling like the dinner I made last night
48. Jessica's cute faces
49. Corkscrew Wine Emporium
50. Today being a better day than 11 years ago
51. My Isotoner slippers
52. Meetings where drinking is allowed
53. Random Boston jokes on 30 Rock
54. Not feeling compelled to search a thesaurus for a replacement for surprising
55. How good of a listener Jessica can be
56. Google Wave
57. Some important upcoming meetings
58. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
59. Bill Simmons
60. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
61. My new Ted Baker glasses
62. The moktak that my mom sent me
63. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
64. The snow not being as nearly as bad as everyone thought
65. How good cracking various joints feel
66. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
67. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
68. The fact that my seasonal excema is finally subsiding
69. Everything I have yet to learn
70. My passion for music slowly returning
71. How much more enjoyable The Bodyguard is when you convince yourself that it’s a thriller not a romance
72. Fart jokes told by smart people
73. Any browser better than Safari
74. Our Simmons Beautyrest
75. My cautious optimism
76. How my fingers smell after cooking
77. Allowing myself to not care so much when needed
78. My rejuvenated reading mojo
79. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
80. The Tanzanian Peaberry waiting for me at work
81. The Blind Pig Brewery
82. The new cafeteria service at work
83. The cute names Jessica used for the alarms on my Palm Treo
84. Our various French Presses
85. Jessica's hourglass figure
86. Memories, good and bad
87. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
88. The several unintended benefits of using my earbuds at work
89. My desire to seek out the positve in my life
90. Sensodyne
91. Free floss from the dentist
92. Orthotics
93. Finally having a clean office
94. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
95. Having hope
96. The pajamas that Jessica bought me
97. My Brandeis BPA free Nalgene bottle
98. Spooning
99. A new day
100. Completing my fifth post

Object of my metta practice – n/a

Reflection of the Day – I didn’t get around to meditating today. I had an important meeting today where I was self conscious about how I would act in it. I still feel like I have a long way to go in terms of this attitude adjustment. It went surprisingly (there’s that word again) well. Sometimes, I feel silly listing some of this stuff. The list at times comes across as overly materialistic. I just have to be honest and follow through in this process I guess.

February 4, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Job security
2. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
3. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
4. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
5. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
6. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
7. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
8. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
9. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
10. The work week almost being over
11. Spicy Korean soups
12. Adam Carolla podcast
13. Day old braised pork chops
14. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
15. Reconnecting with old friends
16. Breathing
17. Any form of nuanced thinking
18. Clean sweats to lounge around in
19. Keeping my cynicism in check
20. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
21. Someone teaching me that vermouth is a great substitute for wine in cooking
22. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams
23. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
24. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
25. Foreign languages
26. Still being able to smell the detergent on my sweaty activewear
27. Life forcing me to multitask
28. Jeff Ross’ unique brand of humor
29. Anthony Bourdain
30. Keynesian economics
31. The surprisingly effective cheap ass Jockey base layer
32. Under Armour
33. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
34. Tiki
35. Living Colour
36. My smart and talented friends old and new
37. My increasingly reliable intuition
38. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
39. The music playing in my head – Dvorak Seventh Symphony
40. Comedy Central Roasts
41. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
42. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
43. Not getting caught up by Super Bowl hype
44. This computer stand from Ikea
45. Our cable and internet being back on
46. Old Time Meat and Deli
47. The kitchen still smelling like the dinner I made last night
48. Jessica's cute faces
49. Men of a Certain Age even though it scares the shit out of me at times
50. Today being a better day than 11 years ago
51. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
52. Bourdain for having creative clip shows
53. Random Boston jokes on 30 Rock
54. How surprisingly amazing of an actor Ray Romano actually is
55. How good of a listener Jessica can be
56. Google Wave
57. The lingering memories of two great Krannert shows from last week
58. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
59. Bill Simmons
60. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
61. My new Ted Baker glasses
62. The moktak that my mom sent me
63. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
64. Not seeing any snow yet
65. How good cracking various joints feel
66. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
67. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
68. The fact that my seasonal excema is finally subsiding
69. Everything I have yet to learn
70. My passion for music slowly returning
71. Wildcats – I am always in the mood to watch this movie
72. Fart jokes told by geniuses like Mozart
73. Any other expert balance between high and low humor
74. Our Simmons Beautyrest
75. My cautious optimism
76. How my fingers smell after cooking
77. Having the courage to stand up for myself today
78. Taking advantage of a leadership opportunity thanks to #78
79. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
80. The Tanzanian Peaberry waiting for me at work
81. Generous return policies
82. The new cafeteria service at work
83. The cute names Jessica used for the alarms on my Palm Treo
84. Our various French Presses
85. Jessica's hourglass figure
86. Memories, good and bad
87. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
88. The enlightening Public Enemy documentary I watched on Youtube
89. My desire to seek out the positve in my life
90. Sensodyne
91. Free floss from the dentist
92. Orthotics
93. Finally having a clean office
94. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
95. Having hope
96. The pajamas that Jessica bought me
97. My Brandeis BPA free Nalgene bottle
98. Spooning
99. A new day
100. Completing my fourth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – There are two major branches of Buddhism – Theravada and Mahayana. I follow the Korean Zen tradition which is part of the Mahayana tradition. Theravada is the direct descendent from the first form of the religion that was ever practiced. Its focus is on personal enlightenment. Mahayana focuses on the salvation of all sentient beings.

It took me twenty years to come across metta practice since it only exists in the Theravada tradition. The affirmations that are essential to this form of meditation are built into the Mahayana prayers which make this practice obsolete and redundant. I first learned about the practice from Jack Kornfield’s book, The Path with Heart. Here, the first meditation that he teaches is metta practice. I found this odd. When I was formally taught this meditation as part of the vipassana meditation course, this was the last meditation taught to us. It made much more sense to me that way. I’ll explain this later.

I was never into prayer much so these affirmations were absent from my practice. After much thought, I decided to give metta practice some serious consideration. Here’s how it’s been going so far. “May I be peaceful and at ease” seems to be the most powerful for me. “Well” and “Happy” are the least effective. Not effective at all would be more accurate. I truly do want to be filled with loving-kindness and I say the first affirmation with serious intent but it’s not quite working. Coming up with the 100 objects have become harder when my tougher days. I’m going try doing the meditation first and then coming up with the list. Let’s see how that turns out. I’ll still continue to post in the same format.