February 4, 2010

Today, I am grateful for….

1. Job security
2. A great part time job that gives me constant contact with creativity of the highest order
3. My new Macbook - I now believe the hype
4. Some semblance of financial security after some scary and lean years
5. Jessica - everyday I am surprised at how much we love each other
6. Not worrying about where my next meal is coming from
7. Facebook being an easy means to keep in touch with friends all over the world
8. How exciting this year is shaping out to being
9. How Jessica and I can’t seem to stay mad at each other for very long
10. The work week almost being over
11. Spicy Korean soups
12. Adam Carolla podcast
13. Day old braised pork chops
14. How much Jessica and I make each other laugh
15. Reconnecting with old friends
16. Breathing
17. Any form of nuanced thinking
18. Clean sweats to lounge around in
19. Keeping my cynicism in check
20. Still not completely believing in the concept of being comfortable
21. Someone teaching me that vermouth is a great substitute for wine in cooking
22. The ability to have some fucked up and entertaining dreams
23. Having a washer and dryer in our apartment
24. Mike Ross, the director of Krannert Center
25. Foreign languages
26. Still being able to smell the detergent on my sweaty activewear
27. Life forcing me to multitask
28. Jeff Ross’ unique brand of humor
29. Anthony Bourdain
30. Keynesian economics
31. The surprisingly effective cheap ass Jockey base layer
32. Under Armour
33. The rush of positive thoughts and feelings I have every time I see Jessica
34. Tiki
35. Living Colour
36. My smart and talented friends old and new
37. My increasingly reliable intuition
38. My Brita filter especially on those days when Illinois Water decides to put WAY too much chlorine in it
39. The music playing in my head – Dvorak Seventh Symphony
40. Comedy Central Roasts
41. Competent and dedicated coworkers at both of my jobs
42. How great I feel after riding my bike to work
43. Not getting caught up by Super Bowl hype
44. This computer stand from Ikea
45. Our cable and internet being back on
46. Old Time Meat and Deli
47. The kitchen still smelling like the dinner I made last night
48. Jessica's cute faces
49. Men of a Certain Age even though it scares the shit out of me at times
50. Today being a better day than 11 years ago
51. How Jessica can pick me up when all seems lost
52. Bourdain for having creative clip shows
53. Random Boston jokes on 30 Rock
54. How surprisingly amazing of an actor Ray Romano actually is
55. How good of a listener Jessica can be
56. Google Wave
57. The lingering memories of two great Krannert shows from last week
58. Clothes that fit me even though I’ve gained too much weight
59. Bill Simmons
60. No longer worrying if today will be the day our car will completely fall apart
61. My new Ted Baker glasses
62. The moktak that my mom sent me
63. The copy of the Korean Zen Buddhist prayer CD that my mom made me
64. Not seeing any snow yet
65. How good cracking various joints feel
66. My new earmuffs that don’t mess up my hair
67. Jackson 5 version of "Who's Loving You"
68. The fact that my seasonal excema is finally subsiding
69. Everything I have yet to learn
70. My passion for music slowly returning
71. Wildcats – I am always in the mood to watch this movie
72. Fart jokes told by geniuses like Mozart
73. Any other expert balance between high and low humor
74. Our Simmons Beautyrest
75. My cautious optimism
76. How my fingers smell after cooking
77. Having the courage to stand up for myself today
78. Taking advantage of a leadership opportunity thanks to #78
79. The bizarre yet surprisingly effective baby talk that Jessica and I have developed for communicating
80. The Tanzanian Peaberry waiting for me at work
81. Generous return policies
82. The new cafeteria service at work
83. The cute names Jessica used for the alarms on my Palm Treo
84. Our various French Presses
85. Jessica's hourglass figure
86. Memories, good and bad
87. The pavlovian response Jessica induces in me when I hear her keys just before she opens the door when coming home from work
88. The enlightening Public Enemy documentary I watched on Youtube
89. My desire to seek out the positve in my life
90. Sensodyne
91. Free floss from the dentist
92. Orthotics
93. Finally having a clean office
94. Not having to worry too much about what to wear for work
95. Having hope
96. The pajamas that Jessica bought me
97. My Brandeis BPA free Nalgene bottle
98. Spooning
99. A new day
100. Completing my fourth post

Object of my metta practice - myself

Reflection of the Day – There are two major branches of Buddhism – Theravada and Mahayana. I follow the Korean Zen tradition which is part of the Mahayana tradition. Theravada is the direct descendent from the first form of the religion that was ever practiced. Its focus is on personal enlightenment. Mahayana focuses on the salvation of all sentient beings.

It took me twenty years to come across metta practice since it only exists in the Theravada tradition. The affirmations that are essential to this form of meditation are built into the Mahayana prayers which make this practice obsolete and redundant. I first learned about the practice from Jack Kornfield’s book, The Path with Heart. Here, the first meditation that he teaches is metta practice. I found this odd. When I was formally taught this meditation as part of the vipassana meditation course, this was the last meditation taught to us. It made much more sense to me that way. I’ll explain this later.

I was never into prayer much so these affirmations were absent from my practice. After much thought, I decided to give metta practice some serious consideration. Here’s how it’s been going so far. “May I be peaceful and at ease” seems to be the most powerful for me. “Well” and “Happy” are the least effective. Not effective at all would be more accurate. I truly do want to be filled with loving-kindness and I say the first affirmation with serious intent but it’s not quite working. Coming up with the 100 objects have become harder when my tougher days. I’m going try doing the meditation first and then coming up with the list. Let’s see how that turns out. I’ll still continue to post in the same format.